cock cougher

An individual who has become so lame that they are prone to spontaneous fits of cock regurgitation. The length (Cl), quantity (Cq), and girth of the cocks (Cg), in addition to regurgitation frequency (Rf) is mathematically correlative to the degree of lameness represented by said cock cougher.

CF = Cq * ((Cl * Cg) + Rf) where CF represents the overall cock factor.
Lamness then is a simple correlation: LAME = CF^2

Mike: I think I'm going to pass on snowboarding this weekend
Everyone Everywhere: What a cock cougher!

Mush: That cock cougher snaked me in the park.
Thad: I deduce that he cougheth the cock.

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