Cock Lard

A thick mixture of semen, normally from many different occasions blended into one molasses like mass.

Don't you threaten me or I will throw a jar of cock lard on you!

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lard cock-block

A woman or man (or both) that is so fat that they can't hookup with their sex partner, because their fat prevents them from reaching each other's genital areas.

Man, my dad couldn't stick his penis in my mom, because my mom was a lard cock-block.