Comfort Wipe

A tool, marketed mostly towards disabled people and fat people, used to wipe your ass. Basically a stick which you wrap toilet paper around.

Guy 1: "Man I need to wipe my ass, but I can't really reach back there all that well, cause I'm fat."

Guy 2: "Sounds like you could use a comfort wipe."

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comfort wipe

a phrase for which someone has reached the lowest level of intelligence, reserved for true retards who probably don't know how to wipe their own asses.

1."Jesus Marco, why did you crack my pencil in half? Youre SUCH a comfort wipe"
2."Comfort wipe, my ASS!"
3."Jesus Christ Susanna why'd you key your own car?" "I thought someone stole my parking space!" " Susanna your such a fucking comfort wipe. "

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