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counting chickens

Counting chickens is the personal belief that one is about to get laid. However, once the counting is done, one never succeeds.

I was hanging out with Wills at the club when I caught him counting chickens because this banging chick was all over him. She then left with another guy and hated on Wills

by Gimlet McQuade November 29, 2013

4👍 7👎


Counting chickens before they hatch

When you call something yours before you have it

The hillary voters were counting chickens before they hatch

by 300WinMag March 17, 2017

5👍 1👎


don't count your chickens before they hatch

You should not assume that what you think will happen, will eventually happen. It's mostly used in cases where you would brag, plan, or make other deals before the event actually occurred. Originates from selling chickens based on how many eggs there is before you know how many eggs are viable. A few chickens may die, some may not hatch, and others eggs may break. Example: quitting your job or buying expensive items when your $1,000,000 sports bet looks likely but there's still two minutes more left in the game.

Hey Bob, you have to keep on playing hard. Even though we are up five goals with 5 minutes left, they can still come back. Don't count your chickens before they hatch.

by Crackle Dackle December 13, 2016

32👍 5👎


count your chickens before the egg hatched

Count your chickens before the egg hatched.

I finally planted 5 fruit trees. Do you want to buy some fruit this summer?
Count your chickens before the egg hatched. - eg taking something for granted before it happens

by Fursu January 20, 2016

3👍 1👎


Don't count your chicken heads before they swallow

This is my adaptation of the old saying "Don't count your chickens before they hatch". It essentially means the same thing which is not to depend/rely on something until you actually posses it, or it has come to fruition (although this has a more sexual and masaginistic twist to it).

Jeremy Conway, inventor of the jarvik artificial heart, is counting on buying a new car with money he'd potentially make from manufacturing DMT, a highly potent psychedelic tryptamine, in his home laboratory and illegally distributing it on the street to worthless junkies. His intentions are to use his new car to carry out a violent and fatal drive-by shooting on this kid mitch who punked him on some fake molly, a powerful version of the popular rave drug ecstasy. His lover/best friend, rat-tail, knows there is a high likelihood that a number of things could go wrong and that he might not actually make the money he intends on making and may even get popped or blow up his house during the process of refining the DMT. He says to his home girl rat-tail, "Yo biatch when I get me that sweet 97' Plymouth Prowler we're gonna go bust some caps in 'dem asses son". Rat-tail replies "Yo I know your penis is gargantuan and what not, but how do you know you are going to get that cheddar, to get that ride, to put down those trifling ass punk bitches? I mean all I'm saying Jeremy Conway, inventor of the jarvik artificial heart, Don't count your chicken heads before they swallow".

by The Dark Anus (JC) November 6, 2007

45👍 37👎


Don't count your chicken heads before they swallow

This is my adaptation of the old saying "Don't count your chickens before they hatch". It essentially means the same thing which is not to depend/rely on something until you actually posses it or it has come to fruition (although this has a more sexual and masaginistic twist to it.

Jeremy, inventor of the jarvik artificial heart, is counting on buying a new car with money he'd potentially make from manufacturing DMT, a highly potent psychedelic tryptamine, in his home laboratory and illegally distributing it on the street to worthless junkies. His intentions are to use his new car to carry out a violent and fatal drive-by shooting on this kid mitch who punked him on some fake molly, a powerful version of the popular rave drug ecstasy. His lover/best friend, rat-tail, knows there is a high likelihood that a number of things could go wrong and that he might not actually make the money he intends on making and may even get popped or blow up his house during the process of refining the DMT. He says to his home girl rat-tail, "Yo biatch when I get me that sweet 97' Plymouth Prowler we're gonna go bust some caps in 'dem asses son". Rat-tail replies "Yo I know your penis is gargantuan and what not, but how do you know you are going to get that cheddar to get that ride to put down those trifling ass punk bitches? I mean all I'm saying Jeremy, inventor of the jarvik artificial heart, is DON'T COUNT YOUR CHICKEN HEADS BEFORE THEY SWALLOW".

by The Dark Anus (JC) November 6, 2007

20👍 22👎


chicken count

When you are counting in your head and you move your head back and forth kinda like a chicken.

my mom will chicken count all the time.

by pugglegirly April 25, 2017