crusty boot

The used condom you find when you wake up in the morning after a drunken porkfest. The crusty boot can be found in the bed, on the floor, up your ass/vag, or even in the refrigerator or other unlikely location. A condom which has fecal matter or blood on the outside of it could be considered extra crusty.

I pulled a crusty boot out of my asshole when I woke up today- Man I must have been shitfaced last night.