Crusty Muffin

When someone with a mustache (male or female), administers oral sex on a female and lets the vaginal fluids crustify onto the mustache.

"Jimbo grew a mustache in anticipation for his inaugural crusty muffin."

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Crusty Muffin

To eat a girl out. As in oral sexual intercourse with a female. Commonly related to a "muff dive".

Matt:"Dude, I totally ate a crusty muffin last night!"
Kevin:"Really, was it warm, fresh and tasty? Did you spell out the alphabet??"

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crusty blood muffin

When the anal cavity is penetrated with such viciousness that it pulls the rectal out; creating a hemroid that resembles the top of a muffin that is bloody and crusty with semen.

Mahyn, I just got the worst crusty blood muffin.

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Crusty Muffin

A crusty muffin is a slang term for a very unclean vagina. Typically with flakes of crusty skin, dried semen, dried discharge, or any other patina of std origin.

I almost picked up a hooker last night. I saw she had a crusty muffin, so I had to flee.