Cult Meat

Group fitness classes with charismatic and successful instructors exhibit features of cults. Converts are broken down and built back up as lean, mean exercise machines. They are instilled with group think and identity. “Welcome to the family! You’re in for a great work out. Becky is the best instructors out there. Did you see her abs?” is what the student most devoted to Dear Leader might say to a new recruit dragged there by her spouse.

“Cult Meat” is whatever the instructor is pushing on the side to her students in order to build her bankroll to afford her own studio someday and/or Lexus and plastic surgery payments. So, it might be special supplements or shake powders that are part of a multilevel marketing scam. That’s more common and transparent. But, Cult Meat is more covert. The instructor might push a low carb Keto Diet, which is protein and grass-fed meat heavy. And, she happens to invest in a co-op that will deliver a high quality product in exchange for your hard earned dollars. See! Nothing bad is happening here. It’s just a fitness instructor helping her students improve their nutrition. And, she also sells fun branded clothes now and is expanding into Cult Eggs. What’s happening is the instructor is a shrewd capitalist building a devoted and captive customer base who has lost the understanding they can just buy the same thing for less money from Whole Paycheck or any normal person grocery store.

“Honey, I’m super happy you’re going to this exercise class. But, when I went it was super culty and not for me. I just like jogging to the dog park through the woods and not a moonlighting Air Force officer shouting over the music in my ears. I’m concerned that we’re now buying products she’s selling to the class. While I like the steak you bought, it’s not in fact American Waygu Beef because that’s not a thing. It’s cult meat!”