Deploy ordinance

Sheen-inspired euphemism for a prodigious bowel movement. Created to replace "morning glory" which is also used to describe a male's morning erection - a source of considerable confusion.

Coworker: Hold that thought - I just finished my coffee and it's time to deploy my ordinance.

Roommate: You may want to use the restroom before me, I'm about to deploy some ordinance on some soft targets.

Dump-dialed friend: I can't believe I'm on the phone with you as you deploy ordinance.

Medical student: Gross, that patient just deployed ordinance while I was trying to collect a history.

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