dick jerky

a term used to describe a male who hasn't gotten laid in so long that his penis has dried and shriveled up to almost nothing. This person becomes insecure and angry towards the world. He compensates for these feelings by going on power trips and belittling others to make himself feel superior.

Police Officers, asshole managers, republicans,etc.......

Ben(line cook): Hey Dave, I finished all the cleanup and everything looks good, can I go now, my wife is in labor at the hospital.

Dave(manager): Well, that's great but I'm going to need you to detail the fryer machine too......that would be great, thanks.

Ben: You're such a fuckin' piece of dick jerky Dave. I QUIT!!

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Dick jerky

The Act of cutting off one's penis, frying it and letting it dry into jerky before feeding it to your loved ones.

"Hey Betty, ready for sum Dick jerky?"