direct lard injection

(n)

Acronym: DLI

A procedure for those who just cannot manage to gain weight. Often used by such famous stars as John Goodman to plump up for roles.

Side-effects: Massive weight gain, decreased sexual drive, increased awareness of mediocre coffee shops in the imediate vicinity.

I ate as many donuts and pies as possible, but I just can't put on the weight! I guess I'll have to go with a DLI or risk staying fit forever.

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