doing a Stafford

To take a shit at either a public convenience or in somebody else's house, rather than hold it in and just go when you get home because it's fucking rancid.

Doing a Stafford often takes such a long time that others will notice your absence from whatever social situation you have decided that shitting is more important than.

(When sitting in a cafe with friends)
- Sam's been gone for ages, what's taking him so long?
- He's probably doing a Stafford.

(When friends are over at one's house and party rules are being decided)
- No going in my parents' room, no smoking indoors, no doing a Stafford, no vomiting on the carpet

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doing a Stafford

The process of creating faecal matter in a toilet within a building in which one is a guest. Includes public places such as shopping centres and restaurants.

-Stan's been gone a while, I thought he'd only gone to the toilet
-Well, that could mean only one thing; he's doing a Stafford
-That's vile, you always wait until you get home and go in your own toilet

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doing a Stafford

To defecate in a toilet not owned by oneself.

- I had a lot of bran this morning, I'm pretty desperate, thinking of doing a Stafford.
- Dude that's disgusting, put a cork in your ass and go in your own toilet.

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