Drunk octopus that wants to love you

A mystical creature that has 8 moving appendages that may look askew, but wants nothing more than to love you. Likely not inebriated but sweet enough to be made of macaroons.

"So _______ and I were getting really excited one night and we started to take off each other's clothes, that is when I realized he was a Drunk octopus that wants to love you!"

girl: Hey _______, come over here...

drunk octopus that wants to love you: okay... (wiggles ears.... licks lips... wiggles nose... walks over to girl, takes off her clothes... wiggles 8th appendage)

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