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Elves
Humanoids with pointy ears who got drunk and would molest Dwarves in the Mines of Moria of the 1st Age of the parallel dimension and world of ours called Middle Earth. They operated from years 5012MD "Mordor Domoni" to 108AM "Anno Mordor". It's unclear why Elves did this but it became a part of Elfish drinking games. 89% of Dwarves were unwilling to allow their ass hole to get sodomized so Elves came up with darts to shoot Dwarves to send them into a sexual ecstacy.
Most of Middle Earth knew the savage acts of the Elves but were unwilling to stop it for fear of open war. Gondor and Rohan were both allies with the Elves and Dwarves but it was a can they didn't want to open. Many Dwarves died during the cruel era called the Stank Mines. The biggest cause of death were exploded rectums causing anal seepage, which in turn led to bacteria infections. The Elves had no remorse.
The Dwarves finally rose up and revolted. Most Elves died due to being allergic to axe handles being thrusted up their anus. This gave coining to the phrase "You rip what you sow", ass holes that is.
These Elves keep raping all of the Dwarfs. Someone should do something to the Elves to prevent this happening all the time.
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To get bettered at something. derived from an urban myth around yorkshire, england of a mythical creature known as "the elve" who, as legend has it - can out do anyone or anything at whatever they are trying to do.
man, that guy thought he was something special then this dude turned up and totally elved him.
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Extreme Large Vagina Syndrome. Abnormal vagina size, loss of the brain comprehension, where you forget to spell simple words such as shiet - shit and bahm - bomb. The side effects are devestating. You develop very bad body odor and you go cock-eyed, the love of your life even dumps you after taking your virginity... you start atracting asianz, and then become seemingly obsessed with them. You start to call everyone "cutie" and then feel the need to get your "skinny on". Then, finally, you can only state the first 3 numbers of your phone number because you forgot the rest.
List of things to cure: 1. Cancer, 2. Aids, 3. ELVS.
That dumb bitch has ELVS. Keep your distance.
49👍 22👎
A race of long lived or immortal beings known for their grace and beauty. They have a natural affinity for magic and nature and a propencity for shagging and 'nancying'. A little known fact is that elves who are born physically imperfect are sent to hidden mines deep in the earth where they work ceaselessly to keep their lovely brethren hip deep in the rarest of commodities- the natural sequin.
"I would love to help you build that shed but I must nancy!"
"He must be an elf..."
73👍 45👎
Elve is a beautiful elf-like person, who likes to write poetry about nature.
They look like from another realm! They must be an Elve.
Elves as described by the Dwarves
Elves are smelly, stuck-up, arrogant tree-fondling hippies dedicated to the protection of their concept of nature (focused on trees).
Elven caravans arrive in late spring. During trade, elves will not accept wood, wooden items or any goods decorated with wood.
Elves will, however, gladly trade you their own wooden items. They will not, however, accept their wooden items back. Bunch of hypocritical bastards.
Elven ethics often differ from those of other races. They are likely to be friendly with dwarves, at least until they cut down too many trees. Elves are the only race which wholeheartedly accepts devouring enemy combatants. History shows that an elven combatant will sometimes devour the other person they were fighting when they win. However elves refuse to butcher and consume intelligent beings. Elves find torturing as an example acceptable. To elves, keeping any trophy of any kind is an unthinkable act. Elves allow for killing animals when done in self-defense, and the killing of other elves by an elf is justified if there is an extremely good reason. For elves, the killing of plants is unthinkable. On the other hand, the killing of neutral beings and enemies is acceptable. Elves never offer capital punishment to criminals; instead, elves found to have committed petty crimes are reprimanded, while those convicted of treason, breaking oaths, or participating in slavery are exiled.
Dwarf #1 : Hey why is the elven trade caravan leaving? The outside is swarming with the undead!
Dwarf #2 : One of the children gave the elves a wooden box of diamonds and they refused to stay any longer.
Dwarf #1 : ...want to loot there bodies when they get eaten alive?
Dwarf #2 : I thought you'd never ask friend!
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Super sexy blondes with pointy ears
Everlasting life usually rangers
Literaly down to earth (only woodland)
Girls love 'em
They are very peacful
And they love lembas bread
Short light weight weapons used
Daggers knives (for otakus) kunai
Bow and arrow
Light long swords
Legolas is one sexy elf
Those chicks are such a green freaks they must be elves
Me: I'm an elf
Red: um barely
Me: yesh I am
Red: o rly nao?
Me: yesh <shoots tres with arrow>
huh sorry tree <hugs>
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