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Epic Beard Man is a 67 year old mother fucker who slaps the shit out of tough guys.
Did you see that dead black guy in the street? I think Epic Beard Man killed him.
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The 67 year old ex marine that beat the crap out of a younger man who didn't know when to shut his mouth as seen on the youtube video AC Transit Bus Fight.
Locations of his bag are still unknown.
Did you see the epic beard man in that video? That'll teach you to respect your elders.
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A man. A veteran. A legacy.
In a short.. 3 days, is it? His video was viewed by millions, by the title of "AC Transit Bus Fight. I am a MOTHERFUCKER". He is one the most honorable warriors of his time, falcon punching his opponents, in this case, young Tyrone, who decides to pick on an old man. The moral of the video is not that black people, like Tyrone, are ignorant, it is that you should respect your elders, or they will turn into Epic Beard Man and Show You His Moves. And punch you in the face. For 12 consecutive seconds, and leaving a little mark. Also see AMBER LAMPS if it exists yet.
Senior Balls - "did you see epic beard man that one night?"
EBM - "IM EPIC BEARD MAN"
Senior Balls - "oh. You suck. Tyrone owns"
FALCON PAUNCH.
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Aka Thomas Bruso, a true legend.
EBM (a 67 year old) was on an AC transit bus talking to his friend, when an ignorant thug (who turns out to be murderer) picks a verbal fight with him. EBM moves to the front to stop himself handing out a beating, but thug leaves him no choice by lashing out. EBM beat his ass down, busting his nose in the process.
The video of the incident was posted up on Youtube, and became a fast-growing internet hit shortly afterwards- prompting many news articles.
Random facts about EBM:
-Is a war veteran (Vietnam)
-Wore a t-shirt with 'I am a motherfucker' emblazoned on the back
-Now has a pair of Stacy Adams shoes
Epic Beard Man: "Don't๏ปฟ fuck with senior citizens, they're gonna surprise you once in a while"
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67 Year old Vietnam Vet. Who beat up some black person on a bus. He also was tasered at a ballpark for being super badass. EBM is the new world order. He is also AMBER LAMPS. He is our king.
>>Hey did you hear about what happened to that black guy in that bus the other day?
> Yeah. Epic Beard Man owned that d00d.
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A heroic viking who was on the verge of Godhood. Thor, fearing being usurped, erased his memories and cast him into the 21st century.
Confused and distraught, EBM had a troubled youth, before he found his calling and went to Nam' to kick Commie ass. He single-handedly pushing back the Tet Offensive and became basis for fictional heroes such as Rambo.
Alas, it was not meant to be, the hippies of the US united against him and he was forced to relinquish his gun and vow to never fight again.
For the next few decades the US continued to deteriorate around him. EBM, being a incarnation of justice, could stand this no longer. A worthless mortal, clearly unaware of the might of the EBM, crossed him, and was promptly obliterated by EBM.
EBM spared that mortal's life and walked off the bus, leaving his groceries behind. Why did he even need groceries? Not once in his life did he ever need to eat, nor has he ever felt thirst, pain or the urge to sleep. EBM has tried his entire life to be a normal man, but he was tired of that facade. He was determined to find out what he truly was. That day, he walked off the bus, a God.
EBM was not the only immortal on the scene. Freyja, watched the event unfold through the eyes of Amber Lamps. Outwardly, her expression never changed, projecting an aura of indifference. Inwardly however, she was aflutter with a myriad of thoughts and emotions. She could not discern what it all truly meant, but one thing was for certain; Thor's days were numbered.
The Epic Beard Man will rise again.
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A large, 67-year-old, bearded white male with exceptional fighting skills. Seen on a viral YouTube video wearing a fanny pack, black baseball cap, and light blue t-shirt with "I AM A MOTHERFUCKER" printed on the back.
On February 16, 2010 a video was posted on YouTube showing a fight on a transit bus. The video begins with Epic Beard Man asking an unknown African American male (hereafter known as "Tyrone") to spit shine his shoes. Tyrone took offense to the request and a verbal argument ensued. After several moments of intense verbal sparring, Epic Beard Man moved to the front of the bus. The two men continued arguing and threatening each other, prompting Tyrone to leave his seat and approach Epic Beard Man. Several passengers were able to persuade Tyrone to avoid physical confrontation. As Tyrone returned to his seat, Epic Beard Man exclaimed, "I see tough guys like you and I slap the shit out of 'em!" This statement angered Tyrone who swiftly approached Epic Beard Man and attempted to strike him in the chest. Epic beard Man deflected the blow and delivered a powerful jab that stunned his attacker. Epic Beard Man then proceeded to unleash a barrage of punches upon Tyrone and left he bleeding and slumped against a seat. Epic Beard Man quickly exited the bus and Tyrone is seen bleeding profusely from the nose. When asked if he was alright, Tyrone simply said, "Bring da ambalamps."
It is believed that Epic Beard Man is the son of the Greek hero, Hercules.
"I see tough guys like you and I slap the shit out of 'em!" - Epic Beard Man
"VIETNAM!!! VIETNAM!! YEEEAAAARRGHHH!!!" - Epic Beard Man
"Epic Beard Man is my hero."
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