ewan simpson

Ewan Simpson is a fat speccy lad who gets hard in shopping centres because all of the clothes (He has a fetish for clothes) he eats dairy only even though he's lack toes and toller ant. He masturbates to little children singing on Britain's got talent and is best friends with all the special kids. You will normally find him in a hole or a basement of some mad scientist. He is also a wet carrot munching popcorn fork . His family swim and get kicked out of the special Olympics becayse they are too speedy for downies. He watched love island for a quickie with his dog. He is overall a bit weird.

Person 1: he's so weird

Person 2: oh yeah, that's Ewan Simpson

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