Fake Splooge

On the rare occasion when a male is unable to achieve climax during sex he must carefully preform a fake splooge. To properly execute a fake splooge you flip the girl on her stomach, immediately increasing thrust speed while feigning excitement. After approximately 20 seconds at maximum thrust speed, the male withdraws completely from the vagina, utters a deep, guttural groan, hocks an ample loogie on to his unsuspecting partners bare buttocks thus successfully executing a fake splooge.

“After hammering my secretary at work this morning, I went to lunch with my wife. She demanded a quickie in the bathroom, I had no choice but to fake splooge”