flacid pedro

Noun. The state in which a man is too intoxicated to erect his penis. Also known as a very severe case of whisky dick.

Austin: "Hey man, you seemed way too drunk to function last night...did you hook up with that deaf girl?"

Will: "Oh I had no chance of getting it up, but you better believe I still fucked some sounds out of her with my flacid pedro anyways!!!"