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Croatian flicker gooning is a sexual act consisting of using a cheap vibrating buttplug which will periodically zap your prostate due to its poor quality and its controlled by Nikola Tesla's spirit who is summoned via an ouija board in a forest near Smiljan (the place Nikola Tesla was born in) while you goon while chanting the words "Nikola, bless me, and I shall bless your birthplace with my seed".
"Dude, I heard you are visiting Smiljan in a month. Is that true?" "Yeah, im going there mostly to try Croatian flicker gooning!"
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Indian flicker gooning is where one does not shower for months or years on end to build up layers of grime all over their body. they proceed to flicker goon and in doing so, slowly chip away at the layers of crust that have built up over the previously mentioned no shower period. Right before climax, the gooner must grab a bowl and ejaculate into it for later. this saved semen will later be used in a traditon indian street food dish as a placeholder for any type of cream.
im starting my no-shower year, i want to try indian flicker gooning
Indian Flicker Gooning consistists of one not showering for months or years at a time to try and build up a crust all over their body. Once a sufficiant crust is developed, the person starts to flicker goon and try to get the crust off of their tip. and the time of climax, the particapant will ejaculate into a bowl for later use. the semen will later be put into an Indian street food dish as a replacement for any creams in the dish.
im going to start my no-shower year to prepare for an Indian Flicker Gooning session.
French Flicker Gooning is the act of climaxing while shoveing a baguette up your anus. The techniueque was invented by the french general napoleon bonarparte in the battle of austerlitz in 1805. It was performed to calm down before battle. According to napoleons wife Josephine de Beauharnais he performe this profane act before the invasion of russia. The technique was so lethal, becouse the ejaculate quickend at a rapid rate wich coused it to treverse straight through the cranium of many unfurtunate russian genererals. This tactic was officialy indoctrinated into russian military doctrine, where its still in use in the russo-ukraine war.
I think president macronne performed french flicker gooning in paris, during his compain for president.
A variation of regular flicker gooning (masturbating or "gooning" while repeatedly flicking the tip of the penis at a quick pace to achieve farther ejaculation), said to have been created by the Aztecs around 1300.
The Aztec flicker gooning technique was so effective that cumshots could reach distances of 100 to 500 meters. Some Aztecs, who specialized in this technique, could reportedly shoot as far as 1000 meters.
Not only was it capable of extreme range, but it also provided a level of pleasure unmatched by any other form of masturbation.
According to legend, Aztec warriors used this technique as a weapon, with their semen traveling at such speed and distance that it could heavily wound enemies upon impact.
Some believe that flicker gooning played a role in Aztec rituals, to summon or bring sacrifices to the gods of gooning and edging. Though there are not enough sources to confirm this for certain.
Unfortunately, after the European conquest of the Aztec Empire in 1521, all knowledge of how to perform the Aztec flicker gooning technique was lost.
"We learned about the Aztec Empire in history class today. Their gooning technique was wild. I wish I could learn the Aztec flicker gooning technique and shoot my load 500 meters!"
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The act of paying a Bosnian homeless man to smash the tip of your penis with a hammer in such a fashion, that you ascend to a level 100 thug, thus entering the astral plain.
Brady was banned from the 1984 Olympics for Bosnian Flicker Gooning at the Men's Bobsled quarter finals.
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Romanian Flicker Gooning is the act of masturbation over and over until you summon the Dacian Goon God. It is said that it came from the so called "Baragan" place which is located in the Danube-Carpathian zone. Ancient manuscripts provide us information that it was invented by the thracians about 2400 years ago , but sadly the art of Romanian Flicker Gooning was lost during the battle of "Golberi" in 73 B.C.E .
I used to be the national champion at Romanian Flicker Gooning !
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