gape keeper

Someone who pretends to protect secrets while secretly giving the information to everyone, and in that sense, standing blocking a gaping doorway that can easily be seen through or entered.

Bro, she's a gape keeper. You know she told everyone that I got AIDS, Gonorrhea and crabs from Mellisa's hairy asshole. And she won't even admit it was her!!!

Gape Keeper

GAYP KEE PUH | ɡeɪpˈki .pɚ

A biological male, presumably a corn chaser - self-proclaimed or otherwise, who is skilled in the art of gape keeping, or being fully capable of expanding the sphincter beyond a 5-inch diameter (gaping) whilst maintaining the elasticity of the anus.

The act of gape keeping is a largely extinct ancient art that has many health benefits ranging from increased blood flow to the penis, to a proliferation of NOT* harmful bacteria in and around the anal cavity. Many corn chasers practice this art and keep it alive for generations of people to enjoy, and it is said that there are annual performances depicting this art during the month of June.

My uncle James is a retired Gape Keeper of 21 years, of which the majority of his career was spent on Only Fans providing excellent service to the community. He is well known for his battle cry, "OPEN THE FLOODGATES!"