granola boyfriend

A guy who buys all his food from trader joes and all his clothes from REi and Patagonia. He has serious mommy issues and thinks monogamy is overrated. You’ll often find him trying to convince you to do weed with him because it’s the real “Rocky Mountain High”. He has a man bun and wears his chacos to Climate Change rally’s and they stay on for sex.

“I decided I want a granola boyfriend.” “Why?”