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A phrase which has been used in mainstream magazines such as Cosmo. This refers to a mythological sexual act which is non-consensual, yet somehow isn't rape.
"I keep telling my friends that there is no such thing as "gray rape", that no-means-no, that "gray rape" puts the blame on the victim."
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Contrary to the 2008 definition, gray rape is sex that falls somewhere between being consensual and non-consensual. Commonly occurs when a woman gives consent, but then withdraws it during or after sex. Also happens when the woman is a little nervous, but the guy is more confident. Generally, rape that doesn't involve violence, threats, or drugs. Emotional manipulation covers this gray area, for example, making someone fall in love with you so you can have sex with them.
"Gray rape is the most common type of rape."
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The most common form of date rape. Overlooked, downplayed and rarely reported, gray rape can be difficult to identify even for the victims. It is distinctive from typical rape and generally characterized by a lack of violence or force because the sexual encounter usually involves some form of initial consent. Often the victim is coerced and manipulated. Consent to have sex does not equal consent to all sex acts, even if you are dating or married or if you have had sex before.
A gray rape occurs when a sex act is performed during a previously consensual encounter that the victim has not or is not able to consent to due to extreme intoxication, being drugged, injured, ill, asleep or otherwise unconscious. Gray rape can be prevented by avoiding or ceasing sex acts with a partner who has become incapacitated and by always asking for consent for every new sex act.
1. It took me days to realize that I had been drugged and assaulted because I was consenting at first but kept blacking in and out of consciousness. Since no violence was used, it was gray rape, not date rape.
2. We were having sex and he tried to stick it in somewhere else even though I told him no. He kept doing it anyway so I just gave up and let him do it because he's my boyfriend. I am so confused and feel violated. I think it was gray rape.
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