group theory

the theory that hot girls only travel in groups of other hot girls. and, if you see a good looking girl alone, stay away. there is something VERY wrong with her.

-Dude, why do all the hottest girls hang out together?
-Don't you know group theory?

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Youth Group Theory

theory that boy who doesn't fit in at school becomes the douchey guy who thinks he runs the place in the Youth Group

The kid who won't shut up in Sunday School rarely speaks at school according to the Youth Group Theory.

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Group Chat Theory

Group Chat Theory is the unofficial theory that all big non-work group chats follow a set structure:

1. A group chat is created that’s just you and your close friends for actual discussion and funny conversations, and all is well and good

2. Your friend eventually insists on adding their friends that you either don’t know or don’t like, but they’re eventually added in, even if you do try to prevent it

3. Those friends either immediately cause chaos, or will just start adding THEIR friends too. Now the group chat is full of randos that are 99% of the time unfunny rude dickheads.

4. Those randos then quickly devolve the chat into the following:

- Bulling someone
- Arguing about beef between each other you either don’t know or don’t care about
- Fill the chat with shitposts instead of actual discussion
- Spam unfunny and illegal shit like gore, porn, drug dealing or more cause they think it’s cool. This then leads to a “Group Chat got leaked…” situation, where the group chat gets leaked to the police or the public, and said unfunny, criminal randos either run away and escape, inevitably to cause another Group Chat Theory in the future, or get caught by authorities and arrested.

5. All of this continues until the group chat meets its metaphorical breaking point, and is either abandoned (otherwise known as a “Dead chat”) or deleted by the owners/taken down by the police.

“Bro that group chat fell off, everybody’s just being a dickhead on there, we should create a new one”

“Yeah bro, that’s literally Group Chat Theory”

“Jesse what the fuck are you talking about.”