Hair Child

the drain clog caused by a mess of pubes and jizz

It's only safe to remove your own Hair Child from the shower -- and it's the right thing to do after a long shower

fair-haired child

A person or thing looked upon with respect and admiration due to its valued qualities.

Wikipedia is the fair-haired child of the internet.

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I'll smack you like a red-haired step child at K-mart

1. Phrase often said to notify someone you are in a squabble with, that you are going to strike them, similar to how one would smack their adoptive red-haired child.

Guy: Hey buddy did you eat my last sweet cuppin-cake?

Buddy: Yeah i did guy, and what are you going to do about it?

Guy: Mother fuck! I'll smack you like a red-haired step child at K-mart!

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Hair Child

that wad/ball of hair at the bottom of the tub/sink when you get done doing your own hair.

*gets done doing hair* "Aww man! Look at the size of that hair child in the drain!"