Hairy Kipper

A hirsute herring that has been split in butterfly fashion from tail to head along the dorsal ridge. They feed at the bottom of the deepest ocean (Western Pacific) and are so rare that they remain undiscovered by man.

A popular way for folically challenged druids to express astonishment in public, as in, "well slap my thigh with a hairy kipper".

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Hairy Kipper

To have a hairy kipper is to be extremely agitated, angry and worked up about an issue. Similar to being triggered.

Friend 1 - "Can I stay over at your house tonight?"

Friend 2 - "Don't think so mate, my mum would throw a hairy kipper."

OR

"Someone asked my mum to do a painting for them and she had a hairy kipper"