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haynous crime

Refers to either:
(1) a horrid misdeed involving mowed-'n'-dried livestock-feed, or
(2) a shockingly-inconsiderate/insensitive "cheating a horny stud outta his promised reward" infraction whereby a "cow" (i.e., a seemingly-willing gal) refuses to "give her milk" (i.e., spread her legs) for a dude after he's naively/trustingly "fed her a bale of premium timothy-and-alfalfa" --- i.e., performed a valuable action on her behalf, such as spending money on her, taking her out to dinner, completing one or more yucky/boring/difficult tasks for her, etc. --- in exchange for her promise of letting him "milk her" (i.e., partake in a bouncy-bouncy with her) when said favor has been completed.

Da term "haynous crime" could also humorously describe a combination of da above two examples --- i.e., how a delightful barn-loft tryst between a farmer's daughter and her penis-proffering lover would likely be viewed by her strict-and-feared "paw" if he ever found out about it, such as if said blinky-eyed chick "got a bun in da oven". (Never mind da fact dat SHE HERSELF was probably conceived in exactly da same way --- i.e., her "maw" and "paw" had probably shared a few "rolls in da cattle-grass" of their own a decade-and-a-half or more ago, causing an unexpected pregnancy dat resulted in said now-sexually-active daughter's existence. So said "Big Daddy" would therefore have "little room to talk" regarding history's merely having repeated itself in da procreation department!)

by QuacksO January 15, 2023