How to recognise a witch

Follow this guide to how to recognise a real life witch

1) “Look for the nose-holes,” my grandmother said. “Witches have slightly larger nose-holes than ordinary people. The rim of each nose-hole is pink and curvy, like the rim of a certain kind of seashell.”
“Why do they have such big nose-holes?” I asked.
“For smelling with,” my grandmother said. “A REAL WITCH has the most amazing powers of smell. She can actually smell out a child who is standing on the other side of the street on a pitch-black night.”

2) “a REAL WITCH is certain always to be wearing gloves when you meet her.”
“Surely not always,” I said. “What about in the summer when it’s hot?”

3) Abnormally large feet. A woman traditionally has small feet but a real life Witch will have men's size feet

4) Rough hands. A witch had rough sore hands from her broomstick riding and potion making. She will also be significantly older than the age she is presenting herself as. Her face may look young but the hands and neck will give her away

5) Deflated saggy breasts. Again a Witch will hide these well using push up bras and not often showing much cleavage. From the expression colder than a witches tit. There is no fat in her breasts and therefore they are very cold. They also receive little blood circulation because they are so thin.

6) Belching. Witches are typically very belchy due to their alcohol intake and their nervousness about being exposed

Follow this survival guide of how to recognise a witch. It could save your life