hug-duration calculator

Refers to the mathematical-analysis procedure that you use to determine how long it's been since two embracing people have seen each other, how fond they are of each other, how long they've known each other, etc.

The hug-duration calculator can be very useful in guessing the details of two people's overall feelings about each other. For example, if they rush headlong towards each other "at first sighting" and totally bear-hug da crap outta each other (extra points if da guy sweeps da gal up off her feet and happily whirls her around a couple of times), this indicates that they have been apart for many months or even a year or more, and so they are simply overjoyed to finally be reunited. But if they simply step swiftly forward and enfold each other in a "deeply-tight" and super-long embrace (such as a minute or more; extra points if they also tear-dampen each other's shoulders and/or treat each other to shoulder-blade scrunchiez during said extended squeeze), this indicates that they are simply extra-fond of each other, and/or they are super-grateful for each other's friendship, emotional support, and occasional kindly assistance.

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