I can change

A song from the 1999 movie South Park: Bigger, longer, uncut.

Some people say that I'm a bad guy
They may be right, they may be right.
But its not as if I don't try
I just fuck up. Try as I might.

But I can change, I can change.
I can learn to keep my promises, I swear it.
I'll open up my heart and I will share it.
Any minute now I will be born again.

Yes, I can change, I can change.
I know I've been a dirty little bastard.
I like to kill, I like to maim, yes, I'm insane, but it's okay 'cause I can change.

It's not my fault that I'm so evil
It's society, society.
You see, my parents were sometimes abusive
And it made a prick of me.

But I can change, I can change!
I can learn to keep my promises, I swear it!
I'll open up my heart and I will show it...
Any minute now I will be born again!

What if you remain a sandy little butthole?

Hey Satan! Don't be such a twit.
Mother Teresa won't have shit

On me!
Just watch, just watch me change here I go I'm changing!!!

Heeeeeeey Satan!

I can change him

Phrase used by a girl who wants to buy a crappy guy for cheap, invest in him and then hold on when he's changed. Usually never works out.

"He's actually really leng, I think I can change him"

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I can change you

When a straight male think he's hot enough to make a lesbian straight (he's not)

Straight male: You're lesbian?
Lesbian: yeah
Straight male: I can change you
Lesbian: no, but I can punch you in the middle of your ugly face