I saw myself

Many times before, I saw myself was willing to give up everything to be with you. Then, I asked myself a lot of questions when I wrote the post "ncertainty"

- Did he really write for me?

- Are those words real if they were for me? Those words surely made me cry a river on August 13, 2021
- Does he really love me or just play around?
- Why doesn't he talk to me or simply have an urge to chat with me through that app like I do?
- Why doesn't he try to find me just to see me like I always look for him?
- If he loves me, then is his love deep?
- If his love is deep, then is it deep enough to sustain through struggles life might throw at us?
- Will he ever give up on me if I give him my hand?
- Will he ever insult me and treat me badly (not gently)? (I hate this most, along with abandoment and cheating)
- Is this serious? (When you asked me that special question on 12/13)
- If it is serious, then why doesn't he even ask me about my feelings and love for him in person?
- It is obvious that he can read me and understand me, does he accept me and love me for who I am?
- Does he have the same mind as me? You may care about being physical, but I don't care about it, really. Those two numbers you wrote caused me to have those feelings. It was not there before I read deeper into those two number and that the post about you woke up after having a dream about us.

I saw myself saying yes to you multiple times, but ncertainties took over. If it was in person, I'd say yes and be willing to take your hand if your love for me was deep and serious. Then again, answers to my questions showed me otherwise... Spontaneous life is not an option anymore for me. I guess we missed those moments and we never know for sure.

But, It does not matter anymore
by The Gardener in Fairy Tales February 02, 2022