Step 1) Grab a well cooked potato
Step 2) Drill, or mash a hole in it, the shape and/or circumference of your penis
Step 3) Find a women who is willing to do go through with this
Step 4) Insert potato into preferred orifice
Step 5) When she has to shit, make sure to get it all over that damn potato
Step 6) Pull out when your ready, and jam the fucking potato in her mouth
Step 7) Make sure to leave a hefty facial, then rub all the shit, and whatever else managed to get into the mix, over her face, then leave to eat the potato
Step 8) Make sure to lock the door on your way out
Philipson: So did you give her the idaho windshield wiper?
Timothy: Fuck yeah I did, that bitch never saw my spud coming.