immaculate ejection

An extremely rare occurrence when a foul, filthy, and consciously sloppy bowel movement leaves no residue on the toilet paper.

Dude 1: "What a beautiful start to my day! I thought last night's spicy enchilada's would have ruined my last roll of t.p.. But when I went to swipe, it was cleaner than fresh linen."

Dude 2: "You've experienced the immaculate ejection. God had bigger things in store for you than a dirty bum."