instant mashed potatoes

A vile, ungodly creation with no equal. The ultimate torture weapon of suburban mother's who don't like to peel potatoes or work late. A plague upon suburbia that leaves only hungry children and carnage in it's wake. A "food" dish from hell itself which can both lacerate the inside of your mouth with water-resistant flakes and also dribble out your mouth as you choke on it and beg for the gentle release of death. Generally, they're pretty terrible. Can be used to great effect in soups if you're allergic to flour though.

"Sweetie, I made instant mashed potatoes to go with dinner."
"Fuck you. I'm going out for Thai food. Eat that crap yourself."