it's only queer if you're tied to the pier

Derivation: U.S. Navy slang. An entreaty used by a desperately horny male sailor to get another male sailor to engage in clandestine sexual activity for the purpose of mutual release. Based on the theory that when two guys on a ship with no access to females have sex, they are not gay, but just helping out a shipmate.

HT2 Betz: "Dude, if you jack me off, I'll jack you off."
AO2 Griffin: "No, way, man! That's gay!"
HT2 Betz: "We've been at sea for three months, and we won't see Pearl for another three. I'm just saying help a shipmate out. After all, it's only queer if you're tied to the pier."
AO2 Griffin: "Yeah, I guess you're right. We could go to the chain locker..."

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