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a factual description of jrhs. james river high school, often called simply "river", is a small-town school in the boondocks of botetourt county, virginia. known county-wide as your local shithole, this is a gathering for the rednecks in lifted trucks, shouting their mating call "yee-yee", as they scout their natural habitat. the rival school is lord botetourt high, known for it's whores and snobs. (side note: please God will yall accept this as a definition. if you dont then youre a total asswipe.)
Redneck: Down hur in the holler is whur yall find gud ol james river high school. YEE YEE I LOVE 'MURICA TRUMP 2020
Literally everyone else:
7👍 1👎
james river high school is your local poor kids hangout, located in the shit-pits of botetourt county, virginia. this hellhole we call home is the best (and only) 2A-and-slowly-dwindling-down-to-1A public school (as a matter of fact it's the only school) you'll find within about a hundred-mile-radius.
It's also the number one place to turn to if you're looking for any of the following:
a. pot
b. potheads
c. poor kids
d. eons-old teachers
e. various other drugs besides pot
f. a lousy football team
g. lousy bleachers
h. shitty school spirit
i. great pep club spirit?
j. furries
k. roaches
l. old cheesesticks behind the auxiliary gym bleachers
m. roughly two albinos
n. more roaches
o. ants
p. other, more bizzare things
q. the list could go on forever really
Some fun facts about the place:
1. Half of the seniors are about 8 feet tall
2. Every single male in the building can be found clad in a unicorn onesie on Pajama Day
3. There's a couple of teachers and some janitor dude who tell all the freshmen every year that there's a James River ghost
4. There is no ghost
5. Everyone hates the 2021-2022 freshman class
6. various, extremely strange items can be found in the many bathrooms around the school
7. if you ever meet JJ Halstead ask him about the piss bandit it's worth it
(if y'all don't accept this as a definition i swear i will sick jerry on you)
girl 1: "you go to lb?"
girl 2: "yeah"
girl 1: "i feel bad for you"
girl 2: "you go to james river high school?"
girl 1: "yes"
girl 2: "DAMN HONEY i feel bad for YOU"