jerk turd

The act of going cocka on a womans chest then she proceeds to pick it up and jerk it off as though it were a turgid cock.

I squatted over Christy's chest and dropped a huge log on her. She then picked it up as though it was a huge brown cock and performed the jerk turd on it.

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Jerk turd

When a man jerks off so vigorously, straining he exasterbates his colon while ejaculating from the penis.

Alex had already jerked off 3 times in a row and the fourth time he had to stroke his penis so hard and fast that he produced a jerk turd.

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jerking a turd

Jerk•ing•a•turd jerk-in-uh-turd

-adjective
1. Speculative term used to refer to someone's tardiness or absence.

2. late; absent; missing.

Question: "Where's the groom?"
Answer: "I don't know. He’s probably jerking a turd."

The ceremony starts at 3:00 PM sharp. You better be there - don’t be jerkin’ a turd.

Turd Jerk

A sexual act in which one defecates into the palm of ones hand to then grip the turd-covered palm around the shaft of the users penis, while violently, yet carefully, keeping the turd safe within the proximity of said penis.

We were having an alright time at the party until Roger got too drunk and started turd jerking Samuel in front of everyone

Jerk Turd Fuck Head

Someone who is an asshole.

"That was my parking space, you jerk turd fuck head!"