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Kabbalah

An ancient form of publicity invented by Madonna.

"Uh, my record sales have slumped. I need to be enlightened. What? Kabbalah?"

by sajor March 4, 2005

423๐Ÿ‘ 156๐Ÿ‘Ž


Kabbalah

1. A form of Jewish Mysticism, dating back at least to the 12th Century or even earlier. Kabbalists themselves say it dates back to just after Adam was expelled from the garden of Eden. From mediaeval times, the Kabbalah has been "borrowed" by Christian alchemists and ritual magicians.

Note that real magicians do not charge money for spiritual enlightenment.

2. A cult invented in the 1960s by a fake Rabbi called Michael Berg. He basically just read all the books on the subject and created a million-pound enterprise aimed at getting money out of gullible celebrities like Madonna, etc.

1. Isaac Luria (famous mediaeval Kabbalist): The way to enlightenment is to meditate upon the secret teachings which the Lord has hidden within the scriptures.

2. Michael Berg: The way to enlightenment is to pay me $200 for some old tat that was already available free or next to nothing anyway.

by Dr Pinch October 22, 2004

209๐Ÿ‘ 88๐Ÿ‘Ž


Kabbalah

a popular reglion amoung celebrities who feel bad about themselves.

Paris Hilton feels bad about her sex videos, so she began to practice Kabbalah.

by Lizzle March 20, 2005

131๐Ÿ‘ 71๐Ÿ‘Ž


Kabbalah

A religion taken to by celebs to gain extra media attention, many show there attention seeking need by wearing a brownie made string bracelet.

Madonna, Britney Spears

by KrazyKim May 22, 2005

9๐Ÿ‘ 7๐Ÿ‘Ž


Kabbalah

You can't be Christian or Jewish and participate in the occult because it is forbidden by God.

Kabbalah is occultic mumbo jumbo!

I wouldn't want to go against the will of god.

by God is not the author of consfusion. March 16, 2005

45๐Ÿ‘ 59๐Ÿ‘Ž


Kabbalah

A lame ass sect of an ancient religion characterized by the sluttiest most popular people studying it. Real Jews call them Faux-jew and don't invite them over for Sader.

Paris Hilton studied Kabbalah for a week but the excommincated her for being too slutty and stupid, it's ok now she's studing scientology.

by Falliokiosaurus Rex May 15, 2005

32๐Ÿ‘ 41๐Ÿ‘Ž


Kabbalah

Toilet Paper.

see butt wipe

Oy vey we're out of Kabbalah,pass me that Koran.

by ass-strologers... March 24, 2005

44๐Ÿ‘ 61๐Ÿ‘Ž