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Pretty much the greatest city in the world. It's on the north end of Lake Washington and has more bowling lanes per capita than anywhere. Not to mention a Casino. It's got lots of sick longboarding hills a few thrift shops. Acapulco Fresh too. And a fuckload of seaplanes.
Kenmore, by the Lake.
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Kenmore, NY is a village inside the town of Tonawanda. It is extremely small and is known to have at least one racist cop for every two streets. Paranoid white people have been moving there since the 50s and voting for higher taxes and strict rulz. Kenmore's roads are always plowed right away and a party of more than 25 underaged drinkers is doomed, this has earned Kenmore a top ten ranking from the American Planning Association in 2009.
Kenmore wishes it was Williamsville but it's not because it shares a border with Buffalo, resulting in many robbings and mischief. Because of this the police are always cracking down hard on drivers and youth. The old people are the most yuppiest kind you can find but the kids are all either emo, hipster or wigbag; they try to act ghetto but everyone knows they're from the whitest suburb around.
The two main highschools: Kenmore West and East both suck at sports but still keep up a pretty good rivalry. Kenmore West had a good team once with running back James Malory
*Kenmore is the jackpot of sexy milfs and highschool sluts. When people turn 18 they more to North Buffalo*
The biggest dream of most Kenmore residents is to possibly move to Amherst or Clarence.
Oh shit we just entered Kenmore, slow down to five miles below the speed limit, lower the radio, and buckle up.
Generic Black Dude: "yea I was driving in Kenmore and the cops pulled me over and arrested me in front of my daughters for no reason."
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the armpit of buffalo, where trampy kids smoke too much pot, and people buy new cars to make them feel better. ita one square mile and it takes about five minutes to walk the whole thing. we dont even have our own highschool. its an almost entirely white racist communtiy and the girls are orange!
kenmore ny reallly is a disastrous place to live
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Taking a shit in a wash machine
Fireman: Man we were in this house putting out a fire and someone was on the toilet. I had to go! So I took a shit in the wash machine.
Fireman 2: Nice! The kenmore steamer! Did you use the clean laundry to wipe
Women who dress like whores and attend Red Sox games at Fenway Park (in Kenmore sq, Boston) for no other reason than to be seen and sing Sweet Caroline.
Dude, I wanted to go to the Sox game but the cheapest ticket I could find was $100 because of all the Kenmore Whores buying tickets.
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The best old school dishwasher ever.
Elizabeth can always count on Old Kenmore to clean up after dinner.
A Kenmore Minute occurs when your washer says it has "one minute" left to finish the load, when in fact it can take up to ten minutes, but usually no less than six.
Jon: "Hey man, are you gonna be ready soon?"
Jack: "Yeah, just give me a Kenmore minute and I will be."
Jon: "By my count you have had four minutes."
Jack: "No, no, no. I'm allowed *at least* six minutes, according to my Kenmore washer."
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