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These are standard toppings for burgers & hot dogs. Nobody knows why it isn't the default toppings. Fast Food restaurants nowadays poop out these weird tomatoe, onion, lettuce toppings.
I don't want a fucking salad, I just want my god damn burger! It's not a fucking science.
Ex. 1 - the working man's fight:
(Frank) Can I have a cheeseburger, ketchup and mustard only, nothing else on it?
(five minutes later)
(Frank) WTF I paid for a burger and all you gave me were mustard and ketchup packets...
Ex. 2 - The Restaurant Enigma:
(Bob) Could I have my burger with mustard and ketchup only?
(Waitress) Oh, yes, I'll bring you a bottle of ketchup and a bottle of mustard!
(Bob) No, can you have the chef put the ketchup and mustard on? I hate having to squeeze that shit out and it takes forever. I kind of just want to eat, you know?
(Waitress) Oh, we don't do that! It's not our policy!
(Bob) Fuck your policy, it's called customer service!
What it looks like that is left on your sheets after boinking a woman who is both on her period and has a yeast infection.
Damn! That chick I took home from the bar last night didn't say a word about her issues. I ended up with puddle of ketchup and mustard on my bed, and I didn't have time to throw my sheets in the washer this morning.
I CANT FUCKING DO IT. THIS SHIT IS SO HARD AND SO BULLSHIT. I can't put a patty on a bun, with lettuce, cheese, onions, tomatoes, ketchup, mustard, pickles, and top bun together in that order!
When you're having a conversation with someone but you keep accidentally going down different side topics until you forget what the original topic was
Friend 1: Yeah so I was hanging out with Catherine earlier-
Friend 2: Yo you saying Catherine reminded me about this cool thing that she did
Friend 1: bro don't Ketchup and Mustard this, let's get back to the main point