Kink in the hose

A painful feeling in a male's midsection from their testicle twisting around in the ol' coin purse. The vas deferens (cords connected to your balls) twist and kink up.

After a sac tap I had a kink in the hose. It fucking hurt.

Kinking the hose

The act of bending the tip of a semi-erect penis down to the base of the shaft and squeezing the two sides firmly in your fist as you would a garden hose to cease the flow of fluid.

"Candy had me half way there with an old fashioned when I needed to piss. Thank fuck she was kinking the hose like a pro!

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Can't even kink a hose

Used to describe ones lack of skill in normally easy tasks. Like kinking a hose.

Friend one: Man, this guy is so stupid he's doesn't know how to make himself lunch.
Friend two: That guy can't even kink a hose.

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Kink in the hose

Annoying person who gets under your skin while trying to live your best life

Spencer, stop being such a kink in the hose and get out of my way! Sheeesh.