Random
Source Code
Random
The Kraken is, specifically speaking, supposed to be a sea monster with no distinctive traits. However, it has become fixed with the image of a big, bad-ass squid that fucks up everything whenever it appears.
You may recognize the Kraken from such things as:
1) Video games - Final Fantasy, Golden Sun, etc.
2) Literature - 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, The Kraken, etc.
3) Movies - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Clash of the Titans, etc.
And much more. All you need to know is that the Kraken is badass and it will own asses whenever it appears.
1) I was playing Golden Sun on my GameBoy Advance and I was making good progress when the Kraken appeared and repeatedly kicked my ass.
2) I read Michael Crichton's Sphere, which features the Kraken. Needless to say, the Kraken opened a huge can of whoop ass on the characters.
244👍 94👎
A gigantic squid-like creature that attacks the ships of any mortal foolish enough to wander into its domain. It originated in Norse mythology, but has become sailing lore and a unique aspect of popular culture regarding sailing ships.
Below the thunders of the upper deep,
Far, far beneath in the abysmal sea,
His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep
The Kraken sleepeth: faintest sunlights flee
About his shadowy sides; above him swell
Huge sponges of millennial growth and height;
And far away into the sickly light,
From many a wondrous grot and secret cell
Unnumbered and enormous polypi
Winnow with giant arms the slumbering green.
There hath he lain for ages, and will lie
Battening upon huge sea worms in his sleep,
Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;
Then once by man and angels to be seen,
In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.
18👍 4👎
A spiced rum that gives the drinker false confidence in their abilities. They will start with the rum and continue to consume various alcoholic beverages until they are forced to succumb to the darkness that is the Kraken. Few have experienced the nightmare and survived to tell the tale.
WARNING: excessive use may lead to, but not limited to one of the following results... laughing, crying, dry heaves, stumbling, slurring, quickly sitting down, laying down, falling down, violently falling down, vomiting, black outs, black heads, black people, nightmares, night terrors, bad dreams, weird dreams, wet dreams, no dreams, unwanted spooning with members of both sexes, lowered self esteem, or an unprecedented over confidence surpassed by none that will eventually lead to your demise in a foolish and regrettable way. (for other potential symptoms see "Black the fuck out")
...always worth it.
(Jim enters casually): Oh hey there!
Dean: Hello to you good sir, to what do I owe the pleasure?
Jim: I bought us a bottle of Kraken...
(Dean spits out his drink): You what?! You FOOL!!!
Jim: what? I didn't know... we can just take it back...
Dean: No, no you f*ckin' can't. Now man up and prepare to die...
119👍 45👎
A mythical sea beast that lived 250 years ago. He's a massive monster with tentacles, big bug eyes, multicolored skin, and a retarded wiggley smile. The absolute worst of the worst, just fucking rude, smug, good for nothing, worthless punk ass bitch. Straight up needs to see a plastic surgeon because no living creature should have such a fucked up wiggley smile. Nothing more than a shit eating, friend stealing, back stabbing, lying, cheating, sailor killing, boat tipping, fucking tentacle having freak who should get the fuck out of the ocean because every single living soul in the world despises him. Literally the dirt under your shoes that is so repulsive it makes you want to rip out your eyes and donate them to a blind person, only to kill that blind person because that shit was so down right gross, just fucking raunchy. The most ugly, white trash, baby stealing, shit eating mother fucker, just fucking sitting around all day smiling. Straight trash.
"The kraken killed every single person I know because it knew a guy who knew me. He burned my house down too."
"Yo man, I'm sorry to hear about that. I heard one time the kraken sold crack to a school of cancer patients and then blew up a church and burned down all the forests on the east coast."
"Motha fuckin jam!"
137👍 53👎
An underwater erection, usually in a pool/social setting.
That hot lifeguard just gave me a hot look. Now I am sporting a kraken. I'll have to swim this off.
55👍 21👎
The Kraken is a popular term for weird physics glitches in video games, it appears in Kerbal space program most often, but may appear in other games.
"Spinning Jebediah at 1000 km/h summoned The Kraken!"
13👍 3👎
A beast of ultimate death and destruction that is released when called upon to deliver the final blow.
I swear if these morons fuck up my food one more again I am unleashing the fucking kraken on their asses.
12👍 3👎