lapham

Penis, schlong, dong. You get the point.

Suzy waited anxiously on the bed.
Jimmy vaulted into the bedroom, his lapham covered with whipcream and a cherry.

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Lapham

A forceful lap dance that pushes out the most stubborn of turtle-head.

"This celery tastes good now, but I know I'll be looking for a lapham later."

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Laphamization

Giving a dramatic eyewitness report of an event that hasn't happened yet. Laphamizers get busted either when the event goes down differently than reported or the article goes to print before the event happens.
Named after notorious journalistic fabulist -- or talented psychic -- Louis Lapham.

Barbara Stewart's description of that seal hunt was graphic and bloody. Too bad the seal hunt was cancelled. That Laphamization ended her career.

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Lapham

>Feeds on pies
>Hangs around with Formans
>Looks similar to the inside of an international rugby player's jock strap
>Is about equal in intelligence level to a pebble
>Favourite phrases include 'PGR' & 'PH'.

1: Fuck me! That person looks like a Buffalo's arse.
2: It's a Lapham!
1: Oh, that explains it.
2: Mmmm.

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mr. lapham

the act of inserting one's penis between another's double chins

he gave the fat chick a Mr. Lapham

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