Lap Itch

Implied perception given when you are trying to covertly/secrety text message with your phone hidden in your lap, or under a table and are doing SUCH a crappy job it is very noticable by EVERYONE you are trying to hide it from.

When you catch someone horribly failing to hide they fact they are trying to text message under the table, you should say: "Hey, you should get some cream for that lap itch!"