laser shits

When you have eaten something dodgy or drank too much and your shits turn into liquid. When you go to relieve yourself, your sphincter only opens a tiny amount before the liquid shit starts to squirt out in a narrow beam - This is a 'laser shit'.

"Hey Dave, what's up with you mate?"
"aaah mate I ate some dodgy street food last night and im suffering from a severe case of laser shits today"

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shitting laser beams

When a person eats too much mexican food and upon the time of defecation the subject's feces which is expelled is so extreme and concentrated that the heat is not unlike a "laser-beam".

"Dude let's not eat at Taco Bell, last time I had some I was shitting laser beams,"