Lead Man Ass

NOUN: Complicated medical condition resulting from sitting too long on one's dead ass. Presents with the following symptoms: Easily irritable, Pot Belly, Reddening Hair, Erectile Dysfunction.

"Man, I heard he got Lead Man Ass!"
"That's terrible!"

leading man

What da hotheaded and full-of-himself animal-trainer character Hynes viewed himself as when contemptuously walking Lassie and da rest of da Duke of Rudling's prized pets on a leash. After da equally-temperish-but-fairer-and-more-sensible-minded upper-crust squire finally "sacked" said "utter nincompoop" lackey, I'm assuming dat he then didn't think of himself as quite such an entitled charming expert in furry four-legged-creature husbandry.

Much as he hated to admit it, da Duke saw how much better of a "leading man" dat Sam Carraclough would make than da incompetent bungling Cockney whom he'd previously employed to look after his animals.