leash lint

a small yappy dog on a leash, one that, if it were to attack, would be brushed off like a bit of lint on your clothes.

If you really wanted a dog to meet women, why did you pick that ludicrous piece of leash lint that has a cat's lease!

If you didn't want a real dog, why didn't you just buy one of those stiff leashes that allows you to pretend you have a dog.