love crater

(n.) The opening to any body cavity (or mechanical masturbatory device) into which the penis can be inserted for sexual gratification.

When the possessor of a particular hole or orifice is a living individual, he/she also experiences sexual gratification. In this case, the term “love crater” can refer to:

1. the mouth (cake hole);
2. the vagina (if applicable: pussy, snatch, twat, cunt, meat wallet), or
3. the anal sphincter (asshole, balloon knot, dumphole, fudge factory, ring-piece).

In the case of solitary mechanical masturbation, the term can also refer to:

1. one's curled-up fingers, or the fist;
2. a jar of cold cream;
3. a melon (such as a cantaloupe); or
4. a vacuum cleaner hose (not recommended by this author).

Husband: Suppose we’ll be having sexual intercourse tonight, dear?

Wife: Oh yes definitely, sweetheart!

Husband: Anything in particular you’d like me to do?

Wife: Yes! I want full-length cock-stabbing penetration of my well-rimmed love crater, honey! Now let me make a man out of you!!

Husband: But darling, into which love crater do you wish for me to insert my penile member?

Wife: All three, baby! Now let’s cut the crap and get naked and nasty, all right?! Aaarrrgghhh-shlurp-shloosh...