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Mach Jesus

A term used to describe an objects insanely high rate of speed.

joe: why were you late for work today mike?

mike: cause the douche-bag who drives the bus insists that he blow by my stop at Mach Jesus so he doesnt have to pick anyone up, so i missed it.

by Sadistic11B January 15, 2009


Mach Jesus

Something traveling above a "reasonable speed"

My and my buddy went on a beer run last night driving at Mach Jesus in his 2nd gen dodge

by SomeRedneck69 June 10, 2021


Mach Jesus

Approximately 476,000,000,000 m/h.

"Mans was goin mach jesus" -man who saw a mans goin mach jesus

by StoveX November 5, 2021

4๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Mach Jesus

Driving too fast for your own good.

I saw the police chasing this car down the street at mach jesus.

by Shane Harrison June 3, 2007

15๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


Mach Jesus

Someone Travelling so fast, that colliding with one small object will be fatal.

Tom Cruise was going Mach Jesus to avoid being late for the shoot.

by AlphaJPM September 15, 2022


Mach Jesus

Something traveling well above the "reasonable speed" that it should be

Me and my buddy were traveling Mach Jesus down the back roads on a beer run last night

by SomeRedneck69 June 10, 2021

6๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


Going Mach Jesus

Operating or being a passenger in or on a water/land vehicle at such a velocity or in such a precarious way that the result in losing control of the vehicle and/or simply crashing would result in an inevitable fatality, which would lead to you meeting Jesus himself, hence the term.

For example: Going over 85/90mph on the highway would most likely be considered going Mach Jesus due to the fact that a sudden stop at that speed would kill the passengers of the vehicle. Doing dangerous stunts at high speeds and/or going more than double in a residential, although probably not fatal for the passengers, could be considered Mach Jesus.

Going so fast in a speed boat that colliding with another would not only destroy the boat but more than likely kill the passengers.

โ€œAhhhhh! Carl! The fuck are you doing?โ€
โ€œIโ€™m going Mach Jesus!โ€
โ€œYou just went Mach shit yourself.โ€

by YoungGirl/wDirtyTricks June 27, 2023