Machete speech

When your girlfriend's dad (or your dad, if you are the girlfriend) takes the boyfriend aside and gives him a good talking to. Usually includes a lot of posturing on the father's part, because he'll be trying to give the boyfriend a scare to convince him to treat the daughter well. In some cases can include sharpening a knife or polishing/cleaning a gun for a threat. Most often includes do's and don't's, but usually just don't's.

Person A: Aw man. When we got back to her place, her old man was waiting to give me the machete speech.
Person B: That's rough, dude.