Malort

Formally known as Jeppson's Malört Liquer. A vile adult beverage, usually consumed unfortunately, generally as a punishment. Drank as a shot, sometimes frozen, or used in some sort of fucked up white trash horror movie style drinking game. Tasting notes: Driving through Gary Indiana with your mouth open and head out the window. Overall opinion: This liquor belongs in one place and that is in the mouth of your enemys.

Jesus Christ, not another fucking shot of Malort. That is the most vile fucking shit I have ever tasted. I would rather suck-start a fucking shotgun than drink this shit again.

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Malort spritzer

When in Chicago, a homeless man jumps out of a dumpster and ejaculates on you.

Did you hear what happened to Kyle on his way to Wrigley Field? Dude took a Malort Spritzer to the face.

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Malort face

Expression you have when you just realized you crapped your pants.

Buying shots of this liquor for people is worth it just to see their malort face!

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