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married to my work

When your new flatmate says they are married to their work after you ask if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend, but they are actually just reaaaallllyyy gayyyyyyy. Also, they definitely saw you lick your lips after they said they don't have a girlfriend, so now would be the time to change the subject.

Person 1: "You don't have a girlfriend, then?"
Person 2: "Girlfriend. No. Not really my area."
Person 1: *stares* "Oh really." *pause* "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Person 2: *head turns slowly towards P1*

Person 1: "Which is fine by the way-"
P2: "I know it's fine."
P1: *small smile* "So, you've got a boyfriend?-"
P2: "No."
P1: "Alright. Ok." *licks lips* "You're unattached just like me... fine. Good."
-long pause-
P2: * looks down and back up* "(Insert name of P1), um. I think you should know that I consider myself married to my work and while I'm flattered by your interest-"
P1: *shakes head, in distress* "No... No."
P2: "I'm really not looking for anything"
P1: *still shaking head* "I'm not... asking- no."

P2: *looks confused*
P1: "I'm just saying: it's all fine."
P2: "Good. Thank you."
P1: *eyes wide, probably internally thinking 'shit shit shit'*

by Mae Ellis May 3, 2021